Helena Green is a published author of, ‘The Forgiveness & Freedom Tool.’ In a series of self-help steps, this tool is designed to help you gain perspective as you let go of your ‘story’ about yourself and others. It is for freeing yourself of these emotional ties that bind - in the moment that you are triggered.
Four Easy Steps
All four steps contain within them a mirror; so as you think or say the phrase to whoever or whatever is triggering you, you are simultaneously thinking or saying the phrase to yourself.
Step 1 “I see you.” - This is your awareness in the moment. It is a frozen slice of time when/where you stop the chatter in your head and acknowledge that what you are perceiving is a reflection of you and some aspect of a limited belief from your past. You are noticing your trigger in whatever form. In this moment you begin to become detached and step out of the drama. That takes you to …
Step 2 “I forgive you.” - This is your process of seeing the object of your negative emotion from a distance. You allow for the possibility of understanding and compassion to enter the scene. Chances are, you don’t know all the influences that have come together in that moment to produce what you are judging in the other. You see that, although everyone is lost in their own ‘story,’ they are doing the best that they can with the information and experience that they possess. With this sincere intention, you not only forgive the other but also, through the process, forgive yourself. You forgive any part of you that is caught up in the judgment or shadow side of yourself; the piece of you mirrored and mired in the drama. Your forgiveness opens the door to letting it all go. That takes you to…
Step 3 “I release you.” - This step takes you out of the other’s ‘story,’ as well as your own, altogether. This detached perspective is from an even greater distance. You hereby let go of any attachment to the drama and/or your reaction to it. In your decision to release the trigger, you’re totally off the hook as well! You see that you are responsible for attracting this ‘teacher’ to show you an aspect of a limiting belief that you have been carrying/ holding on to.
Step 4 “I choose peace.” - In stepping over this threshold, freedom and peace is yours. You empower yourself to make a choice for yourself, right there and then. This stance comes from compassion and understanding of the human condition that we are all doing our best to work through. It is also a stance of strength in claiming what we know to be conducive to our personal health and wellbeing.
PLUS - You may then want to go the extra mile at some point and ask yourself, ‘What is he/she/this trying to teach me?’ Once you are free of any agenda to be right or better than the other, you are able to move past this level of awareness altogether. This is the view from 5,000 ft, detached from the situation where you can put the current scenario into a life’s lesson context. This question is especially effective when working with your relationships to family members or any other significant negative pattern that keeps coming up for you.
‘The Forgiveness & Freedom Tool’ is adaptable to any circumstance or event. It is a gift to not only others but also to yourself.
Deep Listening. Clarity. Sustainable Solutions
Helena Green, BA EFTCP CCIP RPC MPCC
Master Practitioner in Clinical Counselling
Registered Professional Counsellor
Certified Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner
Certified Energy & Somatic Psychology
Counselling for the Health of It
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